The System of Concealment and Disclosure
We spend a lot of time learning, understanding ideas, concepts, frameworks. But there's a gap that most people never cross. The gap between understanding something and actually living it. In the language of Torah, that gap is the difference between Binah and Das. Binah is when something makes sense.
Speaker 1:Das is when what you understand and how you actually live are aligned. When what you know becomes the way you experience and respond to reality. This series is about closing that gap. Taking ideas that we understand intellectually and turning them into something real, something lived, something that shapes how we see everything that happens in our lives. We'll be working with Torah teachings that approach this with precision and structure.
Speaker 1:Not just what to believe, but how reality actually works and how to operate within it correctly. So this is not a series about inspiration. It's a series about process, a structured path from Bina to Das. I want to start this episode, my friends, a little differently because this topic isn't theoretical for me, it's personal. And before I share it, I want to be honest about something.
Speaker 1:I've actually struggled with whether or not to record this episode because there's a real tension here. On one hand, if I share my experience, it could be misunderstood. It could lead someone to hesitate to question whether moving forward in their observance is worth it. But on the other hand, if I don't share this, then people go through this stage without understanding it. And I've seen what happens when that's the case.
Speaker 1:People experience difficulty, they experience confusion And they interpret it as, Hashem must be upset with me. I must be doing something wrong. This must be punishment. And that's not what's happening. So I decided it's more important to explain this clearly so that when you encounter this stage, you recognize it.
Speaker 1:Because what I'm going to describe is not unique to me. This is something that every person will encounter at some point in their journey. There was a period in my life when everything felt clear. I had just begun taking on mitzvos. I wasn't fully observant yet.
Speaker 1:I was taking steps slowly and imperfectly, but every step seemed to work. I would give tzedakah and money would come back in unexpected ways. I would make a decision and it would succeed. Doors opened, opportunities expanded. There was a very clear sense that Hashim was involved, Not something I believed, something I saw, something I experienced.
Speaker 1:And then there was a very clear shift. And that happened when I made the decision to move into this Torah observant community. My family fully committed and almost immediately everything changed. The clarity disappeared, the same actions no longer produce the same results, financially things began to decline, opportunities did not materialize the same way, relationships at work broke down, and eventually the structure I had relied on collapsed. So I was left with a question, not a philosophical question, a real one.
Speaker 1:If Hashem is involved, if I've seen it clearly before, then why at the very moment I become more committed did everything stop working? And for the last few years, there has been one piece of advice that I've tried to live by, very simple, but very difficult. And that is to just keep showing up. Keep doing your avoda, even when it feels like nothing is happening, even when it feels like you are being ignored by Hashem. And I believed that was correct, but I didn't fully understand why.
Speaker 1:I finally got clarity on this through Baha'u'llah's essay called Concealment and Disclosure of the Face of the Creator. And what he explains there doesn't just validate that approach, it explains exactly why it has to be that way. He tells us there are two states of reality, concealment of the face and disclosure of the face. But within concealment, there are actually two levels. And to understand our experience, we need to start with the first.
Speaker 1:The first level of concealment is what Basilam calls seeing the creator from the back. And this connects directly to something we explored in the last episode, what I called exposing the illusion of the system. In that episode, we discussed how the world appears to operate through cause and effect. Effort produces results, decisions create outcomes, systems seem to generate success. But we clarified something critical.
Speaker 1:The system explains how things happen, but not what causes them. And that's exactly where first concealment lives. A person believes, a person attributes everything to Hashem, but their experience is still filtered through the system. Things don't always work. Effort and outcome don't line up cleanly.
Speaker 1:And the person says, Hashem is doing this, but I don't understand why. Because even though they believe they are still experiencing reality through a lens where the system looks like the cause. And only later, looking back, they begin to see it wasn't the system at all. That's what Bartholomew calls seeing the creator, but only from the back. The defining feature of this state is this, clarity comes after the fact.
Speaker 1:Looking back, a person begins to see patterns. They say, now I understand why that had happened. But in the moment, it's hidden. And this concealment is not random. It is not a mistake.
Speaker 1:It is not Hashem pulling away. It is purposeful. It is part of a process and ultimately key to always remember. Ultimately, it is for our benefit because something is being built here that cannot be built in any other way. Then there is a deeper level, what Bal Salam calls concealment within concealment.
Speaker 1:This is when a person no longer perceives Hashem's involvement at all. Life appears random. There is no clear connection between actions and outcomes. A person tries to improve and things do not improve. Person prays and nothing seems to change.
Speaker 1:And the conclusion becomes, no one is guiding this. And where is Hashem in my life? But even here, nothing has actually changed. Hashem is not withdrawn. The relationship has not disappeared.
Speaker 1:It is completely hidden. And this concealment too has a purpose. Even this level is part of a process that ultimately leads to something being revealed. Then there is the opposite state entirely, disclosure of the face. Here, the person experiences something fundamentally different.
Speaker 1:They see a clear connection between their actions, their prayers, and their outcomes. When they pray, they feel answered. When they act, things align. Life flows in a way that is coherent, and they recognize Hashem as it is happening. Baal As Salaam is not describing good days and bad days.
Speaker 1:He is describing two completely different ways of experiencing reality. And it is a process, a necessary conduit that everyone at a certain point in their journey must go through. Especially, and I would suggest that is a much more intense experience for someone coming into Torah observance for the first time, especially later in life. And again, I don't want to deter someone from doing this because as you'll see, this is the very reason we do everything. And you do have to work your way through this, God willing, because of this episode and the fact that I found this essay and this wisdom that knowing what you're going through will make the process less trying than if you didn't know what was occurring.
Speaker 1:So the question becomes, why would Hashem create a system where his presence is concealed at all? The answer is because if his goodness were fully revealed, you would naturally follow him. Not because you chose him, but because it would be obvious. There'd be no independence, no real relationship. So concealment creates something new.
Speaker 1:It creates a space where a person must relate to Hashem even when the outcome does not confirm it, even when the experience does not feel aligned. At first, a person relates to Hashem through outcomes. Things work. Hashem is with me. Things don't work.
Speaker 1:Something's wrong. But over time, something deeper is built. A person begins to act not because it guarantees success, but because it is aligned. And eventually, a shift occurs. A person stops measuring Hashem through results and instead maintains a relationship even without clarity.
Speaker 1:And now that earlier advice begins to make sense. Keep showing up. Keep doing your avoda even when it feels like nothing is happening, even when it feels like you are being ignored because nothing is being ignored. Something is being built and it will be the most important thing you ever do build. And to really understand what's being built here, you need to step back and look at the bigger picture.
Speaker 1:One the things I've discussed in previous episodes is that the entire purpose of creation is about relationship. Relationship of creator with created being. And in that relationship, closeness is not about physical distance. It's about similarity. The more a person becomes similar in nature to the creator, the closer that relationship becomes.
Speaker 1:And here's the key. Hashem's nature is constant giving. So he built a system where a person has two ways of relating. One way is to receive for oneself, to experience life based on what am I getting out of it. The other is to give, to align with something beyond what I receive.
Speaker 1:And these aren't just behaviors, they are directions. One moves a person toward similarity, alignment with Hashem. The other moves a person away from that similarity and closeness with Hashem. And now we can define what Baal Salam is really talking about. He says, At the root of everything, there are two ways a person can relate to reality, something we've discussed multiple times on multiple episodes regarding his teachings.
Speaker 1:The first is what he calls will to receive. That means I relate to things based on what I get from them. If something gives me benefit, clarity, success, emotional reinforcement, I move toward it. If it doesn't, I pull away. And most of our lives operate this way.
Speaker 1:Even spiritually, I do something and I feel something back. I give and I see results. I grow and things improve. And that feels like relationship. But Baba Salaam explains that's still a relationship built on receiving.
Speaker 1:It's a relationship between a parent and a young child. It's not a relationship between a parent and an adult child. Then there's something else, what he calls the will to bestow. This is completely different. Now the relationship is not based on what am I getting, but on alignment with what is true.
Speaker 1:I show up not because I see results, not because it's working, but because it's right. And now this connects directly to what we've been discussing. As long as a person is receiving feedback, clarity, success, visible results, the will to receive can stay in control because it's still getting what it needs. But when that feedback is removed, when things stop working, when clarity disappears, now the will to receive has nothing left to hold on to. And this is where concealment becomes so important because concealment doesn't force a person to change, but it creates a situation where the old way of relating no longer works.
Speaker 1:And now a question emerges. Why am I still here? Why am I still showing up? That's where the possibility opens up to move into something deeper, not based on what I receive, but based on the relationship itself. I want to close with something that I'm still working through myself because looking back, if that initial experience had just continued, if everything just kept working, if every step kept producing clear results, the feedback loop stayed obvious, I definitely would not have grown.
Speaker 1:I would have stayed in a relationship with Hashem that was based on receiving, where I give and I see what comes back, where I act and I see the result. But Baha'u'llah calls the will to receive. And as difficult as concealment has been, I can see that something else is being built, a different kind of relationship, not based on what I'm getting, but based on alignment, based on continuing to show up. What Bozzalom calls moving toward the will to bestow. And I say that carefully because I'm not claiming to be there.
Speaker 1:And I'm saying that's the direction this process is pushing me. And as difficult as concealment has been, I can say honestly, I appreciate it. Not because it's easy, not because I figured it all out, but because of what it's forcing me to become. A close friend of mine, Rabbi Yokov Cohen said to me that this period of my life is actually the greatest opportunity to bring honor to Hashem, to do a Kiddush Hashem. Not when things are clear, not when things are working.
Speaker 1:That's not where the opportunity exists. It's obvious. Good health, financial abundance. You give tzedakah, it flows back. No challenges learning, total inspiration.
Speaker 1:Everything's fluid. You have clarity. Of course, that's easy. But now, when everything's a struggle to move through life with confidence and without fear, even in the middle of turbulent uncertainty, that's the opportunity. That is the goal of our life is to get to the point and forge ourselves into will to bestow.
Speaker 1:And that is why I think this may be difficult for those of us who are Balta Shuvas later in life is because that will to receive that's built into the Citra Akra, We've lived so long there, drew so much of our assessments through will to receive. Everything being transactional. To pull and break from that. I have heard that this idea from rabbis, which so it's not totally something I'm just creating in my mind. But to pull from that and then turn things like your pranasa and other parts of your material physical sustenance into will to bestow, so you're receiving to bestow, it's traumatic, but it's necessary.
Speaker 1:I think all of this is what the Wahhul Salaam is pointing to, that concealment is not the absence of Hashem and is the environment where deeper relationship is built. And the goal is not to wait until things become clear again. The goal is to become the kind of person who can walk forward with clarity even when everything still feels hidden from seeing the creator's back to seeing his face.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening. And if you enjoyed the episode and found it meaningful, please take a moment to rate, review and share the podcast.
